2nd Semester, Freshman Year

I honestly don't remember much from last semester. I know that I did very well in all my classes with only one B. I remember this one time that I got completely confused and forgot to go to a class till it was half over. At my voice jury (final) I forgot to bring judging sheets. That scared me so bad but I managed to push it from my mind till after I got through my two songs. They were "American Lullaby" by Gladis Rich and "La Pastorella" by an Italian guy who's name I can't spell. Both went very well and I actually enjoyed singing on the Admin stage.
I remember that this semester was alot easier then the first semester. I was taking just about the same classes but there were more breaks and it was Spring time, so everything was better.
I'm looking forward to next school year but am rather scared because it is going to be a very hard semester for many reasons.

Song

I really wish I could compose a melody line for a song. But I can't. I can write lyrics. Here is the start of something. I really like the ideas I have, but it's not a stand alone poem. It would need music and major revising to be anything really good. For now, it's just a rough draft.

Father,
I tested positive today.
One night I drank too much,
That boy across the room
I thought he was the only one who cared.
And so I tested positive today.
It's not the way it's supposed to be,
It's just reality,
So I give it up to You.

Father,
I lost my hair today.
Blond curls on my pillow case,
I thought the doctors said this would help,
But I feel more pain.
And I lost my hair today.
It's not the way it's supposed to be,
It's just reality,
So I give it up to You.

Father,
My plans were crushed today.
Two years was not too long to wait,
I thought he would never leave me,
But I trusted in lies.
And my plans were crushed today.
It's not the way it's supposed to be,
It's just reality,
So I give it up to You.

Father,
I woke up today.
Went through my life like always,
But I thought before I choose a path,
For desires always have consequences.
So I woke up today.
This is how it's supposed to be,
This is reality,
I give it all up to You.

Bodies

This post (like all my blog posts) was written in one sitting at a spur-of-the-moment impulse, and posted without editing. Forgive ahead of time any grammatical errors, random flow of thought, unfinished thoughts, illogical structure, and all other forms of mistakes that editing would fix.

I was talking with a couple friends the other day and one of my friends was talking about possible controversial paper topics. She joking said she should write about nakedness. She then went on to wonder why people thought the naked body was "disgusting and gross." The conversation went on to other paper topics but it got me thinking. How do I view a naked body? Why DO we wear clothes? I know it sounds weird but it was a interesting thought.

We wear clothes because people always have. It's considered proper and correct to do so. But is there another reason we wear clothes? Do we wear clothes because we view the body as disgusting? Or do we wear clothes because the body is something too beautiful to view all the time? Or is there something else?

Our bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. When Adam and Eve ate from the forbidden tree they realized their nakedness, were ashamed, and covered themselves. Christian women are called to dress modestly and cover themselves so they don't arouse lustful thoughts in their Christian brothers. Our bodies are temples of the Lord and we are called to take care of our physical appearance. Husbands and wives are encouraged to revel and glory in the beauty of each others bodies.

Is the naked body so disgusting and revolting that we wear clothes? If people started walking around naked I would be disgusted. I don't want to see anyone naked! Yuck! But I don't think my body is disgusting. I don't think bodies are disgusting in general. Spiders are gross, mushrooms are gross, dead rotting carcasses are gross, the body is not gross.

But if the body isn't gross, why is the thought of seeing naked bodies appaling? Is it because it is a social norm to not see people naked? Is it because we associate nakedness with sex and thus with either husbands and wives in covanant or the porn industry? Does the sight of a naked body translate as porn, lust, sin and thus something to not be seen?

Our bodies are made in the image of God so there is something amazing about the body. It's something so wonderful that we cover it. Our bodies are beautiful creations that we are to guard and take care of. Clothes are a means of guarding that beauty. Our bodies are saved for our spouse and if we walked around naked there would be no glory to be uncovered or saved for one particular person. The body would loose all glory and marriage would loose that aspect of wonder and beauty.

Because of sin, the body has been turned into an object that is seen to encourage lust and sin when viewed wrongly. Clothes are a way to help protect from this sin. Women dress modestly for the sake of men. We cover ourselves to discourage the sin of lust. Walking around naked would encourage the sin of lust, and so we wear clothes.

Before the fall there was no sin. Adam and Eve wore no clothes and never thought to sin after each others bodies. They were purely objects of glory. After the fall they wore clothes because they were ashamed to be naked. The sin of lust came after the fall. In a way clothes are a reminder of the fall and the sin of the human race.

So why do we wear clothes? I think it's because they are a protection and a reminder. The human body is a beautiful thing. Clothes protect that beauty and preserve it. Clothes also serve as a reminder of the fall; without the fall there would be no clothes. The fact that we have clothes that compliment us and enhances our natural beauty is a sign that God still loves us and gives us wonderful things.

Metaphore

My voice lessons and studio have taught me a lot about singing this school year. I am told over and over again to stand grounded and open, relax every muscle, let the breath in, expand everything, move air, and then tell the story as the sound flows freely. Never force anything. Never push the air out, never strain the sound, never sing through the pain. Relax, have confidence, know you will do well, and sing. The amazing thing is that all this actually works.

Another amazing thing is how closely singing resembles life in this situation.
Last semester was horrible for me. I hated school, I hated where I was in life, I wanted things to be different. I wouldn't accept things as they were. I tried with all my brain power to manipulate things and possibly make them different. I wanted time to go faster. I wanted more then I could have. I wanted a set plan for what was going to happen and when it would happen. I can't count how many times I cried that semester, all from my frustration with life and people.

And then break happened, and then school started again. But something was different second semester. I had finally learned to accept life as it was and where it was. I wasn't nearly as upset as I used to be. Granted, like any girl, I still had mood swings. But I had learned how to be content. Reading my Bible more definitely helped with that one. I'm still learning and trying to be happy and content, but I've come a long way since first semester.

The principals of singing apply to the principles of life. When you sing, you stand in a way that allows your body to produce the best sound. In life, you set yourself up with the stance and grounding in God's word. When singing you relax everything and let the breath in without forcing anything, and then let the song and story flow out. In life, you open up to opportunities, people, things and allow them in. You then live out the story of your life. In singing, forcing things never helps anything. In life, forcing things and stressing out and trying to make everything happen your way never does any good. The goal of singing is to get your best sound, every time, with relaxation. The goal of life is to live every moment to the glory of God, be your
best, and enjoy it.

The best way to prepare for singing on stage is to ground your stance, relax, allow the breath, open the sound, pump the story full of energy, and know that your voice knows the song, and trust that everything will go fine. The best way to prepare for life is to ground yourself in the Bible, open yourself to people and opportunities, live your life to the fullest, know that God is in control and you are doing what He has planned and His plan is a good one.

This is hard to do. I know. It takes time and practice and you have to work on it until it comes naturally. It's hard to let go and just trust that you will hit that high A. It's hard to stop trying to figure out exactly how your life will go or how you will overcome the next trial. It's hard to trust that God will see you through anything and everything if you will just let go and trust Him. I'm practicing to sing and I'm practicing to trust God.

Stand, breathe, let go, trust in God, sing, live.

Ode to First Semester

I successfully finished my first semester of college with a 3.6 GPA. Life is good :) Overall I do not like college. It's kinda pointless and annoying. I love my classes, but just don't like having to take ones that have nothing to do with my major. College is when most people have the best times of their lives. So far its been a stress hole with a few gleaming moments of fun. I think I might need a life attitude adjustment :P

Classes...

Math: I hate math. We don't get along. This class ended up being a teach yourself class. All the info was online and basically we worked through the e-book and did homework problems with a quiz at the end of every week and a test at the end of every section. I somehow (still don't know how) amazingly ended up with a B in that class. But I am now done with math for life! I never have to ever take a math class again!!!

Core: Core classes serve one purpose: brainwashing. Sports in Society can be interesting when people actually discuss things. But we are in groups and mine sucks. Basically I do all the work with this other girl and everyone else talks or stares at the wall. Thanks to an amazing final project, and getting all my service hours in, I pulled an A.

Class Piano: This class is pointless. The only reason I didn't test out is because I never learned how to read all the different chord symbols. I can play piano just fine. I just don't know all the theory stuff. Oh well, its a super easy A. I don't even have to practice, just show up to classes/ tests and sight read :p

Theory I: This is an awesome class. The notebook of lecture notes took a crazy amount of time but I got an initial grade of 90 while the class average was 35 so I felt my time was well rewarded. Basically show up to lectures and do homework pages which are basically all charts. I kept a very solid A in this class.

Aural Skills I: This class is all rhythm and pitch. Solfege, beat families, intervals, crazy group performances...very scary but I learned so much. Somehow kept an A in this class even though I think I only deserved a B cause I never practiced at all.

FVS: Freshman Voice Seminar. Voice lessons with three amazing teachers and the most awesome class ever. Had my first ever voice recital. Sang "Star Vicino" and "The False Prophet" and managed a B in that class.

University Choir: Directed by Dr. Murphy this choir was a lot of fun. Harder then any church choirs so it was a nice challenge. I sang second soprano as usual. We had two concerts. The first was mainly praise songs and so much fun. The second was Bach's Magnificat which was crazy hard and I was just starting to understanding it the night of the show. A in this class!

Diction: We learned how to write English and Italian words in IPA (international phonetic alphabet). Basically how to write the words the way they sound using specific symbols. Solid A in this class. It was fun :)

In addition to classes, I worked.

Green's Cleaners: I've been working at this dry cleaners for like 3 or 4 years now. Kinda crazy. I worked about 12 hours a week there. My longest shift being Sat 10-4.

House cleaning: I cleaned for two different people. The first is two hours a week for our neighbor. Young family with three kids. I like cleaning for them because everything is dirty when I get there, and clean and shiny when I leave. The second is three hours a week for the people who own a stable. Their house is huge and awesome. It's not as much fun to clean because the two of them don't get anything too dirty so I am pretty much cleaning things that already look clean. Weird, I know.

I also own a horse.

Dante: He is living at Paradise Stables for this school year. He's an adorable pain and I learn more and more about him every day. He is terrified of phones or any clicky things. He is terrified of the vet and shots and was a spaz. Many thanks to Lauren for dealing with him when I couldn't be there ;) We conquered cantering both directions but he still pulls the "I can't figure this one out" card when he wants. He was terrorized when we attempted polo and jousting but eventually got over it. We have come a long way, but still have SO much to do. He is my baby.

I also have a boyfriend.

Sam: What can I say...Obsessed? Adorable? Ridiculous? I will spare you the gooeyness if I can. We are having a great time together and I guess we are technically courting... but idk. Looking toward marriage? Yes. Engaged? Thank goodness no. Think we have found the perfect person? Yes. Act ridiculous most of the time? Yes. Heh.... :D

I also have some of the best girl friends ever! I will name one for now.

Lauren: There is just too much to say. Amazing. Best sense of humor and can always (and I mean always, even if she doesn't realize it) put me in a better mood. Horsey pal :) Very much fun cantering along trails looking for our ridge and ending up way further then we thought. Great person to talk with about other people.... not exactly gossip...more like firm opinions. Basically feels like a sis :)

That was pretty much my first semester. Only 7 more to go! Yay!

Adventure

Yesterday (Sunday) I had an adventure. I need to go out to the barn and Sam decided to go with me. It was a cold clear day, maybe two days after our first snow fall. All the roads in town were clear so I assumed to roads out to the barn would be as well. But I was wrong.

It was a beautiful drive, looking at the hills covered in a thin layer of snow that allowed the golden brown stubble to show through. Driving by some field we wondered at the green "grass" that was growing under the snow. You think it would have died or something.

The first half of the road was perfectly clear. Then we hit the spot where the trees started to cover the road. It was icy in patches but my little Honda made it up and then slid half way down that hill. Then we came to the worst hill of the road. It is a steep hill that takes about a 90 degree turn to the left at the very top. On the right it drops down a couple feet before leveling out. On the left is a ditch and then a hill going straight up. This hill is problematic even in the best of weather. Completely in shade 24/7 this road was now nothing but ice. But I decided to go for it anyway.

We made it almost to the top of the hill, then the car really started slipping. Sam shoved it into 1st gear. But that didn't help. The car stopped and started sliding backward. It started turning and slid so it was facing down hill. At this point Sam said, "We're gonna be okay!" My response, "No we're not." With a very slow slide, the car landed with a bump in the ditch, its front end against the hill.

My first reaction was "Let's push it out" but even as that thought was going through my head a knew we weren't strong enough to push the car up hill to get it out of the ditch. The next thought "oh s***." Then "I feel like an idiot." Then "this is hilarious."

The car wasn't badly stuck, it was just in a really bad place. Its back end was still on the road and it hadn't even bottomed out. All in all it was perfectly fine, no damage done.

Since both my dad and Sam's dad were hunting that day, we had no one to call. So we walked to the barn to see if anyone was there. Thankfully someone was just leaving and we were able to hitch a ride into town with them. We then got Sam's jeep, a tow rope, shovel, and flash light, and accompanied by his mom (who insisted on coming along) we headed back out to try to get my car un-stuck.

By then it was getting dark, and the conditions were just about as bad as it can get for icy roads. We couldn't push the car out. In order to tow me out, Sam had to stop his jeep in the middle of the hill. Well that didn't exactly work. As soon as he stopped his jeep just started sliding, turned around, and almost ended in the ditch just like my car.

By this time my dad got back from hunting. He came with the four boys, all dressed in hunting camo, to assess the situation. Thank goodness we have free towing with our insurance so he called a tow truck.

While waiting for the tow truck I took everyone to the barn and showed them around.

Once the tow truck showed up he easily winched my car out of the ditch. He had to keep pulling it further toward his truck because whenever he let the rope go slack the car would start sliding down the hill. Once he got in in a place where it was not moving, Papa go in and drove it to the bottom of the hill, heading home. It was scary. He almost went over the edge on the other side. After fulfilling his job, the tow truck inched his way down the hill and was gone.

At this point, Sam's dad and his friend decided to show up. So basically my whole family, plus possible extended family, plus a person I didn't even know all showed up to witness and help with my idiotic situation. It was just wonderful. (sense the sarcasm)

After car shuffling and more slipping and tense moments we all made it back to Moscow safe and sound.

I became very thankful for boys during this experience. One they are strong and provide more brute strength the we girls could manage. Two, they enjoy adventures. I just know that deep down they all had a blast with the whole situation and really enjoyed the whole "getting sister out of the ditch" experience. Third, they are stupid enough to to just about anything at all the "wrong times". While any girls would be sitting around talking about what to do next, the boys went and took a look at the car, and then started sliding down the hill and having a grand time of it. They were falling down and sliding, or just standing and sliding. So what if the car was stuck? No use in worrying, might as well have fun. No girl would blow off a stressful emotional moment and decide to start having fun.

So basically boys are awesome and I really hope I always have one around.

And I am almost determined to drive the Honda out to the barn again. I think we would make it the second time...

Check Your Pockets

Working at a dry cleaners involves going through the pockets of every item before it is cleaned. This results in a collection of random things people forget to take out of their pockets. Tissues, chap stick, business cards, lecture notes, funeral programs, cuff links, and the occasional money. Things also seem to come in phases. We have the "OMG it's getting cold I just HAVE to get my coat cleaned now" phase and the "I'm getting married in June and need my wedding dress cleaned and pressed" phase and the "school's starting so I need to get all 27 of my dress shirts cleaned" phase, you get the idea. Right now its the "crazy-rush-for-no-reason-I-need-my-comforter-asap-cause-its-cold-and-I-was-too-stupid-to-think-ahead-and-get-it-cleaned-earlier" phase.

Last week, the whole community of Moscow decided to spill drinks on themselves. Every time I worked someone came in with an article of clothing that had coffee, or hot chocolate, or milk, or some beverage spilt all over it. This week, everyone has decided to leave money in their pockets. And for that, I am very thankful. I have collected a total of $72.10 this week from various people leaving various amounts in their pockets. Its one of the perks of the job. You find it, its up to you to do what you see fit. Of course if it's a huge amount we give it back.

So the point of all this is to say, check your pockets. Make sure that you go through your jeans and coats before washing them. Who knows, you might become a more wealthy person.